


Shades of Red

by Erin_Burke (ChantalK87)



Category: The Blacklist (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-23
Updated: 2015-04-24
Packaged: 2018-03-14 18:52:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 4
Words: 14,685
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3421712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChantalK87/pseuds/Erin_Burke
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Raymond "Red" Reddington arranges a meeting with Elizabeth Keen, all she can think of is that he has a lead on a new Blacklister. What she found came as a complete and shocking surprise...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. A New Shade of Red

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own any of the characters used in the story.
> 
> Please note that this is the very first work that I have posted.  
> Feel free to comment and provide some pointers.  
> Thank you!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Raymond "Red" Reddington arranges a meeting with Elizabeth Keen, all she can think of is that he has a lead on a new Blacklister. What she found came as a complete and shocking surprise...

Lizzie reached for her phone as it rang.  Nick’s Pizza, the screen read.  _Agh, does he have to bug me this early?_ She wondered.  Sighing heavily, she answered. “What do you want?” A long pause answered her until he finally said: “Meet me at the School of Dance at 19:00 tonight, agent Keen.” She frowned, “Why?” She heard him sigh, “It’s important, Lizzie. School of Dance at 19:00.  All right?”  “Okay.” She answered and he hung up.  _What the hell is he up to?_ Raymond Reddington was always ten steps ahead of everyone and Lizzie wondered what angle he was playing this time.  She was still furious with him.  True, she saw something good in the man, and he had done more than a few good deeds.  She just didn’t trust him and also knowing that he only wanted the Fulcrum infuriated her even more.  She believed for a brief space of time that he actually cared about her as a person.  But once again, there was an angle, something to gain.  She felt used, betrayed and even more, she felt hurt.  And even though she would never ever admit it, she had grown to care for him. 

That was all in the past, though.  _He was there, the night of the fire.  He was there.  He left her father to die in that burning house._ Or had he?  Was _he_ her father? He had told her no.  And he said he had never lied to her, but honestly, how could she believe him when he kept surprising her and telling her next to nothing about their connection?  It was an impossible situation to be in, especially since they still had to work together.  She had taken the case of Ruslan Denisov because Red would work with no one else.  She was obligated to work with him, so she endured it.  Thinking back to last week, she cringed as she remembered sharing a drink with him.  _You haven’t even touched your Baklava._  He had said, watching her openly.  And she had to admit, her mouth was watering for the delicious treat on the plate in front of her, but she was trying to prove a point and she did not want him to think for even a second that she had forgiven him.

Then the milonga.  _Oh, god.  Did he have to explain a seductive dance in that deep, seductive voice?_ Of course, she stayed unmoved on the outside, the façade perfectly in place.  But on the inside, she had compared their strange relationship to what he described and it was very accurate, except for the sex part of course.  Violence?  That was a given when it came to Reddington.  At the _meeting_ , he handed _her_ the documents.  He wanted her to inspect them and that was also something that made her feel worth something.  _Was that another angle?_   Then, when he offered the Anneca Oil representative the tainted water, she felt pride rise in her chest despite herself.  She stared at Red and realized, not for the first time how complex this man really was.  She knew the pride was showing on her face at that moment, but luckily Red was basking in the unease the other man was experiencing.  She had told him outright that she did not want to hear how much he cared, because she knew it was all an act.   _That’s not true._

Yes, Elizabeth Keen was conflicted, to say the least.

And now she had to meet him at a School of Dance?  What was he playing at now?  Was she supposed to believe that their next Blacklister was some dancer?  She shoved all these thoughts to the back of her mind and concentrated on the day ahead before she had to meet Red.  She went to the Post Office and got paperwork and reports done on the previous week’s mission.  She created a profile on Ruslan Dunisov and sat back in her chair.  She was lost in thought for a long time, then, finally, she unlocked a compartment in her desk and took out a file.  She opened it and paged to the first available page.  The file contained a profile she was creating on Reddington, one she was making for her own use, and not the FBI’s.  _Subject revealed brief moments of heroism._ She wrote.  She stared at the words and finally put away the profile, locking it away. 

She decided to dress up a little, since Red _always_ dressed up.  She highly doubted that he would arrive in jeans and a t-shirt.  She opted to where a crisp blue embroidered trim sheath dress with nude heels.  She curled her hair and arranged them around her face.  She inspected her reflection in the full length mirror of her hotel room, deciding that the outfit was both fancy and casual at the same time, suggesting that she was not making a big deal of meeting Red.  She nodded once at herself and left.

She arrived at the school and made her way up the steps.  A man in a tuxedo barred her way when she tried to enter.  “Invitation, please.” He requested.  _Great._ “I’m sorry, I’m actually meeting someone here.”  She tried to pass him again.  He placed his hand on her shoulder and shook his head.  Liz was getting angry now, deciding that this was once again just a waste of time, she turned around and made her way down the stairs.  “Lizzie!” She froze in place and slowly turned around.  And there he was, dressed as impressively as always in an ensemble that surprisingly matched her outfit.  He made his way to her and took her hand, pulling it through the crook of his arm and walking her back up the steps.  “I almost thought you weren’t coming.” he said, smiling at her.  “I almost didn’t” Liz replied curtly, but reluctantly kept her hand on his arm.  They passed tuxedo man and Liz’s look burned holes in him.  “The lady is with me, Phillip.” Red said.  The man’s eyes widened and he muttered “My apologies ma’am.”  Lizzie frowned at the man, but felt an odd surge of pleasure at the way the man addressed her.  _Was Red a regular?  Maybe he owned the place?_ That would not even surprise her.  Once past tuxedo man, Red led her to a corner in the atrium where Dembe stood waiting.  Lizzie greeted him and he nodded in return.  “See, Dembe.  I told you she was a winter!” Red said triumphantly, as he appraised her appearance.  She felt a little embarrassed at his attention and cleared her throat.  “So, what exactly are we doing here?” Liz asked.  “We’re watching a dance show, of course.  What else would we be doing at a School of Dance?” Red asked with a little frown creasing his forehead and cocking his head to one side.  Liz just rolled her eyes, deciding to play along until something made sense.

They made their way to their seats, which, by her standards were the best in the theatre.  The lights dimmed as they sat down and Red handed her a program.  _School of Dance Almuni._ She had to admit that she enjoyed a good dance show, but with Red, nothing was ever that simple.  She stared at Red as he was making small talk with Dembe and laughing at some inside joke.  Then the music started and they turned their attention to the stage.  Red leaned over and whispered “You are going to enjoy this, Lizzie.”  His voice sent shivers up her spine and she went rigid as she felt his breath against her ear.  The dancers started their performance and at first, Liz pretended to be indifferent, but halfway through the show, she had to admit that this was a pretty amazing show.  The dancers were exceptional and the storyline was brilliantly written.  There was one dancer that stood out, an auburn haired beauty that was about her age.  She dominated to stage and had the main dance sequence with a male partner.  And to her utter bewilderment, they were doing the milonga.  She felt Red’s eyes on her, but refused to meet those eyes.  Her mouth was open as she saw the pure passion that was poured into the dance.  It was incredible, amazing, and beautiful.  The crowd went wild and gave them a standing ovation.  She joined in and saw Red and Dembe follow suit.  She was smiling at the energy and feel-good mood in the room and grinned when the dancers did a little move on stage for the benefit of their fans.  She turned to Red and smiled at him and he smiled back at her, a soft, endearing smile.  And then she remembered that she was mad at him and she pretended to collect her things, ending the moment. 

After the show, they made their way back to the atrium and Liz thought that would be the end of the evening.  She did not want to face Red after what happened in there.  She did not want to explain how much he frustrated her.  She just felt like running.  She was lost in thought as Red handed her a glass of champagne.  “Shouldn’t we get going?” she asked.  Red observed her for a moment, then said. “Not yet, we are meeting someone here.  She shouldn’t be long now.”  Liz felt so unnerved and anxious and knew it showed.  Red frowned at her, reached out, and placed his hand on her shoulder and for once, she did not flinch away from his touch.  “Relax, Lizzie.  Everything’s fine.”  She met his eyes and nodded.  Just then the auburn haired dancer made her way to them.  “Raymond!” she said excitedly and threw her arms around Red without warning.  Red returned her hug with a genuine one of his own, and Liz stared at them, completely shocked.  _Who the hell was this girl?_ She wondered, not that she cared, of course.  Finally the two broke apart and the girl gave Dembe an equally warm hug.  “I’ve missed you! Can’t believe it’s been a year already!”  Red smiled warmly at the girl and then the girl turned her eyes questioningly to Liz.  Red immediately took a step closer to Liz and placed his hand at the small of her back.  “Erin, this is Lizzie.  Lizzie, meet Erin.”  Liz held out her hand.  “Pleased to meet you Er….”  Before she could finish, the girl had her in a hug as well.  “It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Lizzie.”  Erin said, smiling sweetly at her.  _Finally?  What the hell was going on???_

“So, are we going or not?” Erin asked.  Red smiled at Lizzie and then at Erin.  “Of course, sweetheart.  Let’s go.”  Red guided Liz along with the hand still resting at the small of her back, following Erin who had linked in with Dembe and was leading the way.  “Going where?” Liz asked, a little tersely.  “I told you to relax, Lizzie.  So please, just for tonight, could you please just stop trying to control everything?  Just one night, that is all I ask.”  She looked up into his eyes, trying to find some explanation in those blue depths.  He was being honest, that much she could tell, and he desperately wanted her to go along.  She sighed heavily.  “Fine, Red.  But I swear, if you try anything…”  Red gave a little, dark chuckle and reached out to tuck a wayward curl back in place.  “Elizabeth, I have no intention of trying anything nefarious with you.”  She felt a little put off at that comment, but finally relented.

They got in Red’s car and made their way to a little Cuban bar.  Liz just stared as they made their way to a table.  Red immediately ordered drinks for everyone, a beer for Dembe, scotch for himself and 2 Cuban Surprises for the ladies, which turned out to be a tall and delicious cocktail.  Red sat between Erin and Liz with Dembe on Liz’s other side.  Red reached into his coat pocket and removed an envelope that he placed in Erin’s hands.  “What’s this?” Erin asked.  “Just a little something for your birthday.” Red replied, smiling at her.  “Ray, we’ve been over this, no gifts!” she gave him a strict look.  He gave her an innocent look.  “It’s just a card!” he replied and Liz could hear familiarity between the two.  And damn her, she felt jealous, oh so jealous!  Erin opened and read the card and finally hugged Red again, thanking him, placing a small kiss on his cheek as she pulled away.  Red’s phone rang and he excused himself, leaving Dembe to guard the women.  Liz was brimming with curiosity and finally asked.  “So, is Reddington your lover?”  Erin, who was sipping on her cocktail nearly choked and started laughing.  Liz felt anger rise in her as the other woman laughed at her, was it so absurd?  “Oh, god no!” she replied.  “Don’t get me wrong, Raymond is one of a kind, but I am no Lannister and neither is he.”  Liz was completely lost.  “I’m sorry, I don’t understand the reference.” She said, feeling stupid.  “Lizzie, he’s my uncle.”  _Wait, what?_ “Your…” Liz was so dumbstruck that she could barely process what the girl was saying.  “Uncle, yes.  My mother is his sister.” Erin explained.  Liz stared at her for a while like she was some foreign object, but finally accepted it.  “Do you see each other often?” Liz asked.  “No, but he promised me when I was little that we would dance every year on my birthday.  He hasn’t missed one since.” Liz could see the love Erin had for Red and it was the biggest surprise, especially after meeting Nyomi, Red’s ex-wife, who clearly loathed him.

Red finally made his way back to the table and sat down between them.  “What did I miss?” he asked, smiling sweetly at both women.  Liz stared at Red, a mix of confusion and wonder in her eyes.  Red met her stare and frowned slightly at what he saw, his eyes were stormy and serious, but they hid nothing from her.  And for the first time Lizzie could remember, Raymond Reddington was like an open book.  He wanted her to see this part of his life, something that very few people had the privilege.  Erin suddenly jumped up.  “It’s our song, Ray!” she said, smiling down and holding out her hand to him.  Red smiled at Erin and Lizzie could see how much he loved the girl and for once, he was letting his guard down and taking the mask off.  “Please excuse me, Lizzie.  I owe my niece a dance.” He said, smiling at her before taking Erin’s hand and leading her to the dancefloor.  The dancefloor emptied on queue as if everything was rehearsed.  Only Red and Erin remained and the spotlight was on them.    They started moving as the music began and every move was perfect.  Liz already knew that Red was an exceptional dancer, but this was something else entirely.  The dance was passionate and contained so many emotions.  This was a performance, one that the two of them did every year on Erin’s birthday.  Liz felt the jealousy dissipate a little as she recalled the peaceful smile Erin brought to Red’s lips.  Even the Concierge of Crime required a break every now and again. 

The music ended and the crowd applauded as they made their way back to the table.  Lizzie grinned and clapped along, and saw Dembe grinning at her.  He leaned toward her and said: “Raymond is like an onion.  He has many, many layers.”  Lizzie smiled at Dembe and patted his hand.  “I know, Dembe.  I know.”  He grabbed her hand and turned his serious gaze on her.  “Then give him a break, Lizzie.  He cares.  Believe that.”  He let go of her just as Red and Erin resumed their seats, both laughing.  Lizzie stared at Dembe for a moment, trying to decipher whether he was being truthful.  He looked straight back at her and nodded once.  “Does anyone need a refill?” Red asked.  “I’ll get it, Raymond.” Dembe said and looked over at Erin pointedly.  “I’ll help you!” she said enthusiastically and followed him.  Red sat back in his chair and watched the couples dancing, while Lizzie stared at him.  She had never seen him so content and relaxed in the nearly two years they’ve known each other and she decided that she quite enjoyed seeing this side of him.  “She’s nice.” Lizzie said, drawing his attention back to her.  He angled his body toward her as he met her eyes.  “Yes, she is.”  She felt her heart ache for him, thinking about having no-one to love.  Losing everything that meant something to him, and then she realized that she was in that position too.  She’d lost everything.  Tears were evident in her voice: “Red, I…”  Red leaned forward and took both of her hands in his, stroking her skin absently with his thumb.  His face was only a few inches from hers and she could see the pain in his eyes.  “Lizzie, tonight, I am not a criminal and you are not an agent.  I brought you here to meet Erin, and to… I don’t know…  I guess I wanted to prove to you that I am not the man you think I am.” He sighed heavily and Lizzie could see he shoulders sag, he looked down at their hands, looking utterly defeated and at her mercy.  And then Lizzie realized something.  _He was.  He was putting himself completely at her mercy.  She had to decide now._

A single tear escaped and trailed down her cheek, but she ignored it.  She raised her hands to his face and lifted his head until their eyes met again.  She leaned forward and kissed him on his cheek, just a sweet, simple kiss.  She felt him go rigid and then felt him relax again as she held her position, lips still resting on his cheek.  She wasn’t sure what to do next, but then she felt his shoulders sag a little more and his head rested lightly on her shoulder.  Lizzie snaked her hands around his neck and caressed his neck softly, trying somehow to let him know that she understood.  He released a ragged breath, but never so much as tried to touch her.  He was letting her be in control, completely.  After a while, she released him a little and kissed his cheek again.  “I’ll be right back.” She said, her hand moved over his shoulders as she walked past him.

When she returned, Erin and Dembe were back at the table.  She felt nervous again, but shook the feeling off.  She was giving him a second chance.  Red smiled at her as she sat back down and she returned his smile, feeling a little wistful.  Erin jumped up as another favourite song started playing and went over to Dembe.  “Come on, Dembe.  Let’s dance!” she said, leading him to the dancefloor.  Red cleared his throat and for the first time ever, Lizzie thought he looked nervous.  “Would you like to dance?” he asked. “Sure.” She said, smiling at him.  He stood and held his hand out to her, she took his hand and he led her to the dancefloor.  He turned her in a circle as if to display her and then guided her towards him as he flattened his hand on her back and grasped her hand.  Her other hand rested on his shoulder.  The dance started and for once, Lizzie did not try to lead, deciding to trust her dance partner.  Red started off timidly and they made their way smoothly across the dancefloor, but as the music built up to a crescendo, the tension and electricity built up between them.  He started moving her around effortlessly and with perfect technique.  She even recognised some of the moves he did with Erin, but she didn’t remember them being this sensual.  In one move, her back was to him and his hand rested on her stomach as they danced, he pulled her hand up with his free hand and wrapped it around his neck, running his hand back down her arm and her side and then just as suddenly he was spinning her out again, until finally coming back to the position they started off in.  The music ended and the crowd cheered.  Red’s nose was touching hers lightly and they were both breathing hard.  He leaned in and kissed her cheek, sending an unexpected wave of desire through her.  Then he stepped back and led her back to their seats. 

Red and Dembe decided to go outside and get some fresh air and left Erin and Lizzie to bond.  “That was amazing, Lizzie! You never told me you were a dancer!” she exclaimed.  And Lizzie laughed at Erin, trying to understand her logic, since they had only just met.  Lizzie found that she loved the bubbly, charismatic Erin and really wanted to be friends.  But something was bugging her, especially after the dance.  “Erin, you are probably the only one who can answer this question.” She braced herself as Erin looked at her curiously.  “Is Red my father?” she asked, desperation clear on her face.  Erin’s expression turned to shock.  “Well, I don’t really know, Lizzie.”  Lizzie sighed heavily and looked down at her hands.  “But I can tell that he loves you.” She said, laying her hand on Lizzie’s.  Lizzie looked up and met her earnest gaze.  “And, honey, no father would ever have danced with his daughter the way Raymond danced with you.” Erin said with conviction, winking at Lizzie.  “But, Lizzie, when I tell you that he loves you, then you better believe it.”  Lizzie gave Erin a pained look.  “How?” she said.  “Lizzie, I’ve been on the receiving end of Raymond’s affection for all of my life.  I know him.  And I know without one shred of doubt that he adores you. “ 

The next day Lizzie was back at the Post Office, when Red and Dembe walked in.  “Agent Keen, we have a new case.” He said, in the same professional manner he always used around the Post Office.  But Lizzie knew now.  She stared at Red and nodded, her lip twitching in a small smile.  He smiled at her then and handed her an envelope containing details of the newest Blacklister.  They went back to business as usual, but she shared a little secret with Red now, a secret that made working with him not just bearable, but quite enjoyable…


	2. A Familiar Shade of Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A change in the dynamic of the relationship between Red and Lizzie.  
> Also, Lizzie deals with her fears and a familiar face make a comeback...

The screen of Liz’s phone lit up.  _Nick’s Pizza._ She smiled and answered the phone: “Red, I said I’ll meet you in an hour.  You don’t have to check up on me.”  She feigned annoyance, but felt a little thrilled at the extra attention.  She heard a woman laugh at the other end and froze, wondering what was going on.  “Lizzie, it’s Erin.  Red asked me to meet with you.  Something came up.  He says he’ll make it up to you, but he thought it would be a good chance for the two of us to talk.”  Lizzie felt disappointment wash over her, she had been looking forward to seeing Red again.  On the other hand, she really liked Erin and would love to get to know her better.  “No problem, Erin.  See you in a bit.” 

They met at the Starbucks, Erin pulling Lizzie into a heartfelt hug, and stood in line to order.  Lizzie ordered a skinny mocha and Erin, a chai latte.  They made their way to a couple of large, comfortable armchairs.  Lizzie watched Erin as she took a cautionary sip of her latte.  She relaxed in her chair and rested the cup on her lap, cradling it with both hands.  She met Lizzie’s stare and smiled.  “How have you been, Lizzie?” she asked.  “I’m fine, thanks.  And you?”  Erin’s smile grew into a wide grin.  “Fantastic, actually!  The Alumni show has been such a success and I have a few jobs lined up because of it.  I’ll have to thank Raymond for arranging the evening.”  Erin’s smile and bubbly personality was infectious and Lizzie found herself smiling in response.  “That’s wonderful…  I’m really happy for you.”  Erin studied Lizzie intently and Lizzie’s smile faltered.  “Is everything all right, Lizzie?”  Erin asked again, real concern on her face.  It was strange, but in that moment, Erin reminded Lizzie so much of Red that it felt like she was really talking to him.  “I’m fine.  No, really, I am.  It’s just a lot to deal with sometimes, the job.  It takes its toll.”  “If you need a break, it can be arranged, you know.  One call to Raymond and he’ll have us on a plane and on our way to Marrakech faster than you can say ‘Tripleasure’.  It would be such fun!  We could do some shopping, sightseeing, have some girl time…”  Erin said enthusiastically.

“It sounds wonderful, but I highly doubt whether Cooper will give me vacation time.  Especially since we have so many Blacklisters still out there.” Lizzie replied, feeling bad at having to decline.  “I’m sure Raymond can talk a little sense into him.” Erin said confidently.  Lizzie realized that Erin believed that Red could literally accomplish anything he wanted to.  “No, I don’t want him to do that.” Lizzie said.  “Everyone at work already wonders about our connection, I honestly can’t afford him interfering more than he already has.”  Erin gave Lizzie a level look: “Alright, I won’t say anything, but honestly, Lizzie.  If things are getting too much, you have to tell Raymond.  He cares more about you than the list.”  Lizzie smiled at that and nodded.  Erin changed the subject then and the two just started exchanging facts about themselves and Lizzie had to admit that Erin was a fascinating woman. 

Later, when she returned to her motel room, Lizzie felt the weight of her burdens descend once more.  The brief warmth and reassurance rendered by Erin’s sunny disposition was replaced by worry and unease.  Detective Wilcox had said that he knew she was there when the harbourmaster was killed.  It was eating her up inside.  She felt overwhelmed by guilt and even though she was not directly responsible for the man’s death, she blamed herself for what happened.  Her stomach rumbled and she made her way to the small fridge in her room.  She opened it and sighed.  Empty.  She got her bag and made her way to her car, locking her room on her way out.  She opened the door of her car and looked up and for a brief moment, her eyes locked on a man across the street.  He was wearing a hoodie, but he looked familiar somehow.  She shook her head and got in the car, she was being so paranoid lately.

She headed into the supermarket and made her way through the store, buying what she needed.  She was reaching for her favourite snack when she froze.  The guy in the hoodie stood at the other end of the aisle.  Liz’s heart lurched as she watched the guy.  Was she being followed?  She quickly grabbed the snack and made her way to the cashier.  She scanned the area around her, but “Hoodie” was nowhere in sight.  She kept scanning the area as she made her way to her car and all the way back to the motel.  She locked her door and collapsed onto the bed, heart hammering.  Was she being paranoid again?  Were her eyes playing tricks on her?  Finally, she decided to write it off as stress.

She was sleeping soundly when a hand clasped over her mouth.  Her eyes shot open and grew wide when the man’s face drew close to hers.  “Hey, babe.” Tom said, a cruel smile on his face.  She screamed and sat bolt upright.  Her eyes scanned the darkened room for any intruders, but she was alone.  _It was only a dream._   Her heart was hammering away and she felt the adrenaline coursing through her veins.  She settled down again, but try as she might, sleep wouldn’t come.

She was walking to her car the next morning when she saw him again.  The guy in the hoodie was a little closer than the previous day.  She froze for a moment, but urged her feet to move.  Once inside the car, she got out her phone and dialled a familiar number.  “Dembe, I need to speak to him.  It’s urgent.  Where can we meet?”  Dembe gave her an address and fifteen minutes later, she stopped in front of a library.  She walked in and found Dembe waiting at the front desk.  “This way.” He said, leading her to a door at the back of the room.  He held the door for her and she walked into a large storage area filled with old books.  She heard Red laughing and allowed the sound to guide her to him.  “Ah, Lizzie.” He said, taking a few steps toward her.  The man with Red was tall and thin with crazy white hair and a small moustache.  He reminded Lizzie of Einstein and she smiled at Red in greeting, hiding her amusement.  “Lizzie, this is Albert.  He is a proverbial fountain of knowledge when it comes to Ancient History.” Albert nodded at Lizzie and she nodded back.  Red walked a few steps toward Albert and shook his hand.  “Thank you for your assistance, Albert.  We will be in touch.”  At that Albert made his way out of the room.  “Albert? Really?” Lizzie asked when the man was gone.  “Life is full of little ironies.” Red said, smiling.

“So, Lizzie, what can I do for you?” he asked.  Lizzie released a shaky breath and concern filled Red’s eyes as he looked at her.  “Are you alright?”  Red asked her, placing his hand on her shoulder.  “I think someone’s watching me.” She said, and remembering the man Red sent to follow her a while back, she added.  “Is it one of your men?” A frown appeared on Red’s face.  “No.  Did you get a good look at him?”  “Not really, he’s always wearing a hoodie, hiding his face.”  Red nodded at that and walked towards Dembe who was standing by the door.  He said something Lizzie couldn’t hear and then Dembe nodded, leaving the room.  Red turned to Lizzie again: “The motel isn’t safe anymore.  Let’s go.”  Lizzie stared at Red.  “What’s going on, Red.  What are you not telling me?”  Red put both hands on her shoulders and gave them a squeeze.  “I need to keep you safe.  Just, please, trust me Lizzie.  It is important that you trust me.”  Lizzie stared up into his eyes and nodded.  She felt truly afraid now.  If Red was rattled about something, then she should definitely be worried. 

Red held the door as she got into his car, he followed after her and Dembe drove away the moment the car door closed.  Lizzie could see Dembe scanning the area and even Red was more alert than ever.  They arrived at her motel and the two men entered first after she unlocked the door.  They scanned the room and Lizzie felt embarrassed at the state of the place.  Red looked completely out of place in her room.  “We should hurry.” Red said, looking pointedly at Lizzie.  She knelt down at the foot of the bed and got her travel bag.  She placed it on the bed and went to the closet.  “No, you handle the toiletries, I’ll pack the clothes.  We’re leaving in five minutes.”  Lizzie rushed to pack all her belongings and when she returned to the main room, she saw that Red was zipping her bag up.  Red slung the bag over his shoulder and made his way to the door.  “Wait.” Lizzie said.  “I need something else.” She moved to the cupboard again and picked up the small box that contained the only personal belongings she owned.  Dembe took the box from her and the three of them went back to the car.  They drove until they reached an apartment block called “ _The Audrey_ ”.  Lizzie frowned as they drove into the resident’s parking lot.  They made their way to the top floor where Red unlocked the door of one of the apartments.  He held the door for Lizzie to enter and she walked into the apartment.

She felt so overwhelmed that it took her a while to put two and two together.  Red was watching her expectantly, waiting for some reaction to the place.  Lizzie walked to the living room and set her bag of toiletries on the floor.  She made her way to the window and gasped at the beautiful view.  It was truly breath-taking and peaceful at the same time.  Then it hit her.  _This was her apartment.  The one Red had bought for her._ She turned around and found Red still watching her.  “This is the place, isn’t it?”  Red smiled fondly at her.  “No, Lizzie.  This is _your_ place.”  Red took a few steps closer.  “Do you like it?” he asked.  Lizzie turned her attention to the living room, she traced her hand over the furniture as she walked towards the kitchen.  It was heaven compared to the little bar fridge she had at the motel.  Next, she inspected the bedroom, then the second bedroom and finally the bathroom.  She returned to the living room where Red stood waiting.  “It’s beautiful.” She said.  She shook her head then.  “But it’s too much, Red.  I don’t know if I can accept it.”  Lizzie felt bad that he spent so much on her.  “It’s already yours, Lizzie.  There’s nothing to be done for it.”  Lizzie nodded, accepting that this would be her new home.  It was an amazing apartment with a breath-taking view.  She walked towards Red and brushed his cheek with a soft kiss.  “Thank you.”  She said.  He smiled at her fondly.

Dembe walked into the living room just then.  “Raymond, we really must be going if you want to make your appointment.”  Red nodded and reached for her shoulder once more.  Dembe took that as a dismissal and excused himself.  “Lizzie, everything is going to be fine.  But I want you to stay here.”  “But Cooper…”  “I will talk to Cooper.  You must stay here, do you understand?  Can you do that?”  Red was so earnest and serious in that moment that Lizzie readily agreed with what he said.  Red nodded and made his way to the door.  “Do not open this door for anyone except for myself and Dembe.”  Lizzie nodded again.  “When are you going to tell me what’s going on?”  Red stood in the door.  “When I know what’s going on.”  He said, before closing the door.  Lizzie made her way to the main bedroom and started unpacking her things.  After that, she made her way to the kitchen and inspected the fridge.  It was fully stocked, as were the cupboards.  He had taken care of every detail to make sure that she was taken care of.  She spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room, watching a replay of an old black and white movie.  She watched without taking anything in, her mind was far away, trying to figure out what on earth was going on.

Finally, at around dinnertime, Red and Dembe returned.  Red entered, carrying two paper bags.  Lizzie followed him to the kitchen.  “What is that?” she asked after the delicious smell hit her.  “I thought you’d enjoy Thai takeout.” Red said, opening a cupboard and taking out three plates.  Lizzie watched as he dished out the food and retrieved three beers from the fridge.  He sat on one of the barstools across from Lizzie and handed her the beer after opening it.  Dembe joined them and started digging in.  Lizzie enjoyed the food immensely and was once again thankful for his help. “So, have you found something?” she asked after a while.  Red looked up from his plate and took a while to chew and swallow his food before he answered.  “Yes and no.” he said, taking another bite of food.  “What does that mean?” Lizzie asked.  It was times like these that really frustrated her the most.  The times when she really needed a clear answer and Red providing only vague ones.  She sighed and turned her attention back to the food, trying her very best to ignore Red.  After dinner, they made their way to the living room.  They sat down next to each other on the sofa and Lizzie had to admit that it was a lot more comfortable than it should have been. 

“I met with a colleague of mine this afternoon and he confirmed my suspicions.  I did not want to tell you anything until I was certain I had the whole picture.  Lizzie, Tom is the man in the hoodie.”  Lizzie stared at Red.  She was shocked, speechless and scared.  It had to have shown on her face, because Red placed his hand on hers and rubbed soothing circles into her skin with his thumb.  “He will not get anywhere near you, Lizzie.  I will kill him before he does.”  Red’s words comforted her, but she still felt the dread pooling in the pit of her stomach.  “So, what are we going to do?” she asked.  “I have my people trailing him as we speak.” Red said, staring at the TV.  “Sooner or later he will reveal what he is after.”  “And what should I do in the meantime?  Stay here every day?”  Red looked at her then and once again it felt like he could see through to her very core.  “Lizzie, the point of all this is to keep you out of harm’s way.  I have no idea why Tom is back, but we know that he has been watching you.  It is therefore reasonable to assume that he will try to make contact with you or try to harm you.”  Red sighed and sagged back in his seat, rubbing his hand wearily over his scalp.  “The point is, Lizzie.  I have no idea what he wants.  I cannot risk your life on an assumption that he will not harm you.”  Lizzie stared at him, once again realizing how much he cared for her.  Somehow, the mastermind of crime was rendered harmless by her.  She remembered the time when Red was captured and taken to a black site famous for destroying spies.  She remembered how terrified she was for him, and how she argued with her superiors in order to get him back to safety.  _He is our asset…_ As her gaze rested steadily on him, she realized something, a deep truth that she had denied since day one.  He was much, much more than just an asset.  To her he was a partner, a friend, a protector.  Yes, there were still a million unanswered questions, but she knew that with time, he would reveal all to her, she just had to be patient.  She leaned into his side, taking him by surprise, and rested her head on his shoulder. 

Red wrapped his arm around her and gently stroked her back, sending shivers up her spine.  She felt his lips press against her forehead as he kissed her.  “Everything will be fine, Lizzie.  I won’t let anything happen to you.”  She smiled at that, realizing that Red mistook her affection for fear.  “I know.” She whispered, closing her eyes and just allowing herself to relax.

“Lizzie.” She felt her arm shaken lightly and groaned sleepily.  “Lizzie.”  Red whispered again and she blinked blearily up at him.  “What?  What’s going on?” she asked groggily, the fog still having a firm hold on her.  “Nothing, sweetheart.  I just thought you would sleep more comfortably in your bed.”  His hand caressed her arm softly, and she sighed sleepily.  “I _was_ comfortable.” She said before getting up and stumbling her way to her bedroom.  Red was by her side the moment she stumbled and took her arm, leading her to the bedroom.  She crawled across the bed until her head hit the pillow and she collapsed against the thick mattress.  Red covered her with a soft blanket and leaned down to kiss her forehead.  He made his way to the door and stopped to stare at her sleeping form.  “Sweet dreams, Lizzie.” He whispered before closing the door.

The light peeping in through the heavy curtains woke her the next morning.  She still felt a little groggy, but felt well rested for the first time since everything fell apart with Tom.  She yawned and stretched languorously and stared up at the ceiling.  She felt wonderful, and for the first time in forever, she felt happy.  She replayed the previous night’s events in her head.  _I fell asleep in his arms._ Heat rushed to her cheeks as she remembered.  _Oh god._ She groaned, turning her face into the pillow and feeling trepidation setting in.  How would this affect their relationship?  It was one of the strangest she had ever had.  She didn’t even know what they were to each other.  She only knew that she cared for him, and he cared for her.  The rest was something they had to figure out together.  And that was a scenario that made Lizzie very nervous.  _Very nervous indeed…_

Lizzie entered the kitchen after taking a shower and getting dressed.  Red and Dembe were busy making omelettes and she grinned at how domesticated the two of them looked in her kitchen.  _The Concierge of Crime making omelettes in my kitchen._ Her stomach rumbled as the delicious smell hit her.  “Morning.” She said, taking a seat at the breakfast nook.  “Good morning, Lizzie.” Red replied, giving her a radiant smile that quite literally took her breath away.  “Did you sleep well?” he asked.  She flushed as she remembered how she fell asleep in the first place and hoped to god that he did not notice her embarrassment.    “Yes, thank you.” She replied.  The smell hit her again and her mouth started watering.  “What are you making?” she asked as Red turned his attention back to the stove.  Dembe was busy whisking some eggs together and he smiled at Lizzie in greeting, she returned his smile as she waited for Red to answer.  “Bacon and Potato Frittata.” He said.  “A what?” Lizzie asked.  Red turned back to her and smiled, “It’s an Italian dish made with fried beaten eggs.  In essence it’s a fancy omelette.”  He removed the frittata from the pan and cut it in sizable portions.  He artfully arranged her piece on the plate and garnished it with a little chopped parsley.  He then drizzled a sauce on the side of the plate and finally inspected his handiwork.  He nodded, evidently deciding that it was acceptable and placed the plate down in front of Lizzie.  “Bon Appetite” he said, smiling down at her.  Lizzie sat there, knife and fork in hand, trying to decide where to start.  But for some reason she couldn’t bring herself to cut the masterfully made creation and in the process destroy it.  Red was still looking at her.  “Something wrong?” he asked.  Lizzie looked up at him.  “No, nothing.” She said.  She took out her phone and snapped a photo of the plate, then she settled down and started eating.  She took a bite and savoured the taste, allowing it to envelop her.  “Wow, this is amazing.” She said, earning another satisfied smile from Red.  She took another bite and chewed slowly, but before long, her hunger took precedence and she wolfed down the rest of it.  By that time, Red had also had his breakfast and he handed her a cup of coffee.  She thanked him and rested her elbows on the table in front of her, taking cautionary sips of her coffee.  She felt so content and wished that things could always be this simple in her life.  Just having breakfast with someone you care about, no crazy schemes or bad guys to catch.  No Tom lurking in the shadows. 

Lizzie stood up and walked towards the window in the living room.  She gazed out at the sprawling city and wondered what Tom was up to.  _Why would he return now?_ Lizzie felt Red before she saw him.  He stopped next to her and looked out at the view.  “How long am I under house arrest?” she asked.  “Not for too long.”  He said, looking over at her.  “As soon as the threat is dealt with, you will be free to come and go as you please.”  Lizzie looked at him then.  _What was he going to do?  Was he going to kill Tom?_ Red took a step towards her and placed a soft kiss on her cheek.  “I should be back by dinner time.”  He said.  He walked towards the door and gave her one last look before leaving.  Lizzie sighed again.  Once again it felt like her life was being controlled by others.  She knew Red’s intentions were noble and he only wanted to protect her, but she still felt captive somehow.  Her phone rang and she saw an unfamiliar number on the display.

“Keen.” She said.

“Liz.”  She froze as she heard Tom’s voice on the other end.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“We need to talk”

“We are talking”

“No, face to face.  Do you want to know the truth about Reddington and your father?”

Lizzie didn’t know what to say.

“Meet me at the station in an hour and we’ll talk.”

“How do I know this is not a trap?”

“Liz, you know I will never hurt you.  I only want to help you see the truth.  Reddington is not who he says he is and I can prove it.  He is using you, Liz.”

His words cut her deeper than any real knife could and she warred with the idea of meeting him.  Red would be furious, but what if Tom was right?  What if he really was only using her?  Everything she experienced with Red thus far felt so real.  But doubt sprung up inside of her at Tom’s words.

“All right.” She said, hanging up. 

She grabbed her gun and placed it in her purse, making sure she had her own protection.  She left the apartment and made her way to the station.  She felt like she was betraying Red and it broke her heart.  She made it to the station and scanned the crowd for his familiar face.  He was nowhere to be seen.  “Hi, Liz.” Lizzie jumped as Tom spoke from directly behind her.  She turned to face him and her muscles tensed up as she readied herself to make a move at the first sign of something going sideways.  “Walk with me.” He said, smiling at her.  She had no choice, she had a major disadvantage.  She walked with him until they reached a parking lot and Lizzie’s alarm bells went off.  “What are we doing here?” she asked him.  Tom gave her another smile, but this one had a cruel edge to it.  “Oh, just acquiring a bargaining chip.” He said and grabbed her.  She struggled and reached into her purse, trying to grab her gun, but it wasn’t there.  _Oh no.  This can’t be happening._ She struggled against Tom and tried as best she could to get a hit on him, but he was too well trained and the panic rising in her made her clumsy.  She cried out as she felt a needle pierce her neck, her whole body slumped against Tom as the drug made its way through her system.  _This was a trap.  Tom probably had no evidence against Red.  How could she be so naïve?_ She thought of Red, of how safe he made her feel.  She thought of the way he had taken care of her the last few days and wondered if she would ever see him again.  _Please, Red, find me._ She thought desperately as the drug clouded her mind.

_Save me…_

Finally, she gave in to the darkness.


	3. A Different Shade of Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lizzie is captured by Tom.  
> Will she survive? Will she escape?  
> Will Red come to her rescue?

Lizzie woke with a groan, her head pounding and her body stiff.  She opened her eyes and squinted at the bright light.  She blinked rapidly as her eyes adjusted to the light and she gasped at what she found.  She was sitting up in a king sized canopy bed in a huge room.  The room was well-furnished and expensively decorated, but had a medieval feel to it.  She got up and inspected the room, but after a moment, she froze in place.  _Tom brought me here,_ she thought.  Her senses went into overdrive.  She scanned the room and found two cameras mounted in the dark, stone wall.  She tried to open a window, but there was no handle.  She checked the other windows with no luck.  She eyed the wooden chair that stood in the corner of the room and decided it was worth a shot.  She picked up the chair and threw it at the window with all her might.  It didn’t even leave a scratch.  She tried again, using the broken leg of the chair.  Again and again and again, she slammed the wood into the window, but it wouldn’t budge.  _Bulletproof glass,_ she decided.  She made her way back to the bed and tried to control the panic that rose in her.  She was trapped, with no means to escape.  It felt like the walls were closing in on her and she wrapped her arms around herself and squeezed her eyes shut.  She conjured up the image of her father in her mind.  Sam was sitting next to her on the bed and he was holding her.  He hummed the song he used to hum to her when she woke from a nightmare as a little girl.  _Everything’s going to be okay, Butterball.  He’ll come…_

A sound at the door made her jump and she took  a defensive stance as the heavy metal door opened.  A serving woman brought her a tray with food and set it down on the table.  Lizzie walked towards the woman.  “Who are you?  What does he want with me?” she asked, but the woman only eyed her warily.  “Please, I need your help.” Lizzie tried again, reaching out to touch the woman.  She flinched as Lizzie’s hand made contact with her elbow and Lizzie immediately withdrew her hand.  “Please, I need to get out of here.” Lizzie barely recognized her own voice, it was completely distorted by the desperation and fear that overwhelmed her.  The woman gave her a sympathetic look and said something in Portuguese before turning to leave.  She got out of the door before Lizzie could so much as move and the metal door closed behind her. 

Lizzie walked to the tray of food and found an assortment of breakfast goodies and a large cup of coffee.  She picked up the tray and threw it at the metal door.  There was no way that she would go down without a fight, and she would fight Tom every step of the way.  She paced the length of the room, up and down.  She tried to think of an escape plan, but came up short every time.  The room was definitely created to keep someone prisoner.  After a few hours, she gave up and slumped on the bed again.  The metal door opened again, but instead of the Portuguese woman, Tom stepped into her room.  She stood up defiantly and waited for him to so much as try and touch her.  Tom closed the door behind her and approached cautiously.  “Hello, Liz”, he said.  Lizzie stared at him.  “What the hell am I doing here?” she spat out.   “I told you, babe.  You’re my bargaining chip.”  He gave her a small smile, like that was a normal thing a husband would say to his wife.  “I’m not your babe.” She spat, her voice dripping with acid.  “What do you mean, I’m a bargaining chip?”  Tom placed his hands in his pockets casually and took a step closer to her, she took a step back in response, making him smile again.  _Is he enjoying this?,_ she wondered, a frown appearing between her eyes.  “Liz, my employer wants Reddington.  And I happen to have the only weakness the old boy has shown in recent years.  I knew he was obsessed with you, but honestly Liz, this is beyond creepy!”

Tom gave her a stern, disapproving look like she had disappointed him.  “What are you talking about?”  Lizzie said, feeling more puzzled by the second.  “You don’t have to hide it anymore, Liz.  I know what you’ve done.”  Lizzie frowned at him and an unease swept over her.  He was definitely not the same man she married.  The façade of the perfect husband had been discarded long ago and the true Tom, or whatever his real name was, stood before her.  “I don’t know what you’re talking about”, she said.

Tom gave a harsh laugh, “Oh, come on Liz.  Are you honestly trying to deny it?  You forget that I’ve been watching you for a while now.  I know.”  He stood so close to her now that his breath touched her face when he spoke.  She felt terribly afraid and she had no idea who this man was or what he was capable of.  Lizzie just shook her head in response, not trusting her voice at that moment.  Tom glared down at her, “You’re sleeping with him”.  The way he looked at her made her cringe and she tried to move away, but he grabbed her wrists, making it impossible to move.  “Let go of me”, she shouted.  “Not until you tell the truth, Liz.  Confess your sins, and you shall be forgiven.”  There was a manic look in his eyes and Lizzie desperately tried to pull her hands out of his grip. 

“Please, Tom”, she begged, trying the familiarity approach, but Tom only laughed at her.  “Nice try, Liz, but I’m afraid Tom has left the building.  Now, confess and I will let you go.”  She stared up at him and knew that she had no chance of escape unless she played along.  “I have never slept with him”, she said.  Tom glared down at her, “Don’t lie to me, Liz.”  He squeezed her wrists tighter and Lizzie yelped as the pain shot through her.  “Please, you’re hurting me.”  Her eyes were wide with fear and she whimpered as the pain shot through her.  “Confess and I will let you go”, he said.  “But I’ve never…”

“I SAID CONFESS!!” He shouted.  “Say it, Liz.  Say it!!!”  His grip tightened even more and he loomed over her menacingly.  She sank to her knees as the pain became too much to bear.  “Alright”, she whimpered.  “I’ll confess.”  Tom leaned down, “What was that?” he asked.  “I slept with Red.” She whispered, tears staining her face.  He let go of her then and she slumped to the floor.  “See?  That wasn’t so hard, now, was it?”  He abruptly turned and left the room, slamming the metal door.  Lizzie was still on her knees on the floor and she brought her wrists up for inspection.  They were already bruising where Tom had gripped her, the purplish blue blotches marring her skin.  She started sobbing uncontrollably, feeling even more helpless than ever before.  _I’m sorry Red,_ she thought.  She had to lie to protect herself and in the process, made her relationship with Red seem like a cheap, sleazy thing.  After a while, the sobs wracking her body subsided and she got shakily to her feet.  She made her way to the bathroom and splashed cold water over her face.  She let the cool water run over her bruised wrists to sooth them.  She looked up at the mirror and saw the fear reflected in her eyes.  Was she going to make it out of here alive?

The next day, a priest came into her room and once again she tried to convince him to help her escape.  He ignored her plights completely and said that she must start her “ _journey to the light”_.  He said that she had lost her way while dealing with so many bad people that she started sympathising with them and even loving them.  The way he said _loving_ made it sound like a dirty word and Lizzie wondered once again what the endgame was here.  She knew there had to be an endgame, Red taught her that, the only problem was that she had no idea what Tom would gain from her “confessing” and “changing her wicked ways”.  She listened to what the priest had to say and felt anger take root in her as he described Red as “a vile creature of the night”.  And “fornicating” with such “creatures” tainted the soul.  She laughed at that and the priest gave her a stern look, as if she truly carried something evil inside of her.  If the situation was not so dire, she would have thought the whole thing to be rather amusing.  The next few days passed in about the same way, with the priest trying to “save her soul”.  After a while, she just stopped listening and sat there like a zombie, not taking anything in. 

On the fifth day, Tom entered her room again.  She kept as far away from him as possible.  “How are you, Liz?” he asked, his voice soft.  Lizzie just stared at him, not knowing when he would snap again.  He gave her an apologetic look, “I’m sorry, you know.” He gestured towards her wrists, the yellowish bruises still showing evidence of his violence.  She just kept staring.  “I never meant to hurt you, Liz.  You know I would never hurt you.”  She gave a harsh laugh and regretted it almost immediately.  Within a split second, his demeanour changed to that of the violent Tom.  “I thought you learned your lesson last time.  Do as you’re told and you will come out of this unharmed.  But if you as much as sneeze without my consent, you will regret it.”  His tone was menacing and Lizzie felt the fear double as she came to terms with what she will have to do to survive this. 

Time moved at a different pace within her prison.  Hours melted into days and days melted into weeks.  She could not even keep track of how long she had been there.  She learned what was acceptable and what was not, the hard way.  Whenever she did something acceptable to Tom, she was rewarded, either with time outside of her room or having dinner with him in the lavish dining room.  Whenever she did something that was unacceptable to Tom, he would beat her, saying that that was the only way that she would learn to obey.  Soon, Lizzie lost all hope and the fight was taken out of her.  She went day after day, robotically doing as she was told.  She endured whatever twisted affection Tom gave her and turned her heart to stone.  The part of her that made her who she was, was buried deep, deep within her, inside the confines of her stone heart.  Tom called her treatment a “purging of the soul” and said he was doing it because he loved her and he wanted them to be together.  Lizzie knew that something was wrong with Tom, something deeply disturbing.  He was unhinged, moods changing in a split second.  What had happened to him?  Or has he always been this way?  Lizzie remembered how trapped she felt when Red asked her to stay inside her apartment.  She laughed humourlessly at her own stupidity.  Red was only protecting her, and he asked her to stay in the apartment, he never threatened her or kept her inside a prison.  _This was what imprisonment felt like; her mind and body being controlled by someone else._ She longed to be back at her apartment, smelling Red’s cooking as she entered her kitchen.  Will she ever experience that again?  Will she ever inhale the woodsy, spicy smell that clung to him?  Would she ever see his smile again?  Feel his kisses touch her hair?  She burst with longing as she reminisced about that time and a lump formed in her throat.  _I’m so sorry, Red.  I should have listened._

The “purging” continued and Tom said that she was making good progress.  He said that the evil that Reddington had planted in her needed to be burned out.  Between his beatings and the priest’s brainwashing, they accomplished their goal.  Or so they thought. 

One night, Lizzie dreamt that she was sitting at the dining table with Tom as usual.  He was making small talk and she listened obediently, laughing when it was expected.  Then Red appeared next to her out of thin air, he stared at her with a look of sorrow on his face.  “Lizzie, what has he done to you?”  Lizzie stared at him and then shot a fearful look at Tom, but apparently Tom was unaware of Red’s presence.  “Lizzie, it’s time to wake up.  You have to fight.”  Lizzie stared at him, waging a war within herself.  Red watched her closely and his voice turned desperate, “Damn it, Lizzie.  Wake up!  You have to wake up!!”

Lizzie jerked awake and started crying, the emotion she had hidden away finally breaking to the surface.  She desperately need Red to be here, to find her and take her away from this evil place.  “Lizzie.” Her head jerked as someone whispered her name.  “Lizzie.” She scanned the room and saw that the metal door stood ajar.  Fear coiled up inside her and she was frozen to the spot.  She gave a muffled cry when a figure appeared out of the darkness, approaching her bed.  “Lizzie, it’s okay.  It’s just me.”  A woman sat down next to her and the light from the door illuminated her face.  “Erin?” Lizzie asked.  She could not believe it, was her mind playing tricks on her?  Erin smiled sadly at Lizzie, “Hi, Lizzie.  Come on, we’re getting you out of here.”  Lizzie didn’t move, “I can’t.  What if he found me?  He’ll kill me, Erin.  He’ll kill _you._ ” She sounded a little crazy and Erin frowned.  “Lizzie, we have to leave, we only have about half an hour before everything falls apart.  Dembe is waiting for us outside.”  Dembe was here too?  “Where’s Red?” Lizzie asked.  Erin threw clothes at Lizzie and helped her up.  “He’s the decoy.” She said.  Everything started to make sense then.  Red was risking his own life to get her to safety, again.  She had to move, this was her chance to escape the hell she’s been living in.  She dressed as fast as she could and accepted the gun that Erin handed to her. 

They made their way out of the room and inched towards the stairs.  Lizzie felt the fear taking hold again, but pushed it back down.  It was time to be strong now.  They made it down the stairs and walked slowly through the dining room.  Luckily, most of the guards were called to secure the room Red and Tom was meeting in, making Erin and Lizzie’s escape a lot easier, which was probably Red’s plan to begin with.  They walked into a small library on the ground floor of the mansion and Lizzie saw Dembe standing by the window, waiting for them.  He gave her a sympathetic smile as she approached and she nodded in return.  She wasn’t sure she would ever be able to smile again.  Erin went through the window and Dembe helped Lizzie through.  He followed them out and they made their way across the grounds to a little opening in the fence.  When they got to the other side, they got into a Jeep that was waiting for them.  Dembe fixed an ear piece in his ear and listened intently.  “What’s happening?” Erin asked, wrapping a blanket around Lizzie’s shaking form.  “He seems to have everything under control.” Dembe replied.  They sat in silence for a long time, waiting for some sign that Red was on his way.  Suddenly Dembe vaulted out of the Jeep and grabbed a large rifle.  “Dembe, what’s going on” Erin said urgently.  “It’s a trap, he wants to kill Raymond.”  Lizzie felt her heart turn to ice and she couldn’t breathe.  Then the ice turned to fire and it coiled up and enveloped her until it felt like she had a fever.  “I’m coming with you”, she said, following Dembe.  “No, Lizzie.  You have to stay here.  Raymond wants you to be safe.”  Lizzie literally stared him down and grabbed another gun.  “You don’t understand, Dembe.  I wasn’t asking for permission.  I AM coming with you.”  Dembe’s resolve seemed to crumble under her fiery stare. 

They made their way back to the mansion and Lizzie felt more alert than she had in a long time.  There was no way that she would let anyone harm Red.  She would die defending him.  They made it up to the second floor again without detection and followed the muffled voices to the study.  The door was ajar and Lizzie could see Red kneeling in front of Tom.  Tom’s back was facing the door and Lizzie could see the smirk on Red’s face.  “Honestly, Neil.  She loved Tom.  You are not him and you never will be.  She deserves better.”  “You mean, _you?”_ Tom gave a harsh laugh.  “Do you really think that sleeping with her binds her to you?”  Red gave him a puzzled look.  “Wait, what?”  Tom hit him then. “Don’t pretend like you don’t know.  She did the same, but in the end she confessed the truth.  I know what you’ve done.”  Red wiped the blood from the corner of his mouth and his gaze turned to steel as he watched Tom again.  “What have you done to her?”  “I have undone everything that you have done, Reddington.  She loves me now.”  Lizzie felt bile rise in her throat as he said that.  “Now it is time to seal the deal.  Tonight will be the night that Liz and I become one.  And to celebrate, I will have to do something extra special, something that would change everything.”

“Your death.”

Lizzie saw the gun rest against Red’s forehead and felt the anger surge up in her again.  She shot through the door and aimed at Tom’s head.  A shot went off and time stood still for a moment.  Then Tom fell to the ground, blood pouring from the gaping hole in his head.  Dembe made quick work of the men in the room and the three of them, Lizzie, Dembe and Red stood in the middle of the chaos of blood and bodies.  The moment became too much and Lizzie sank to the floor, darkness taking hold of her.  The last thing she remembered was Red leaning over her.  “You’re alright now, Lizzie.  You’re going to be fine.”


	4. A Darker Shade of Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aftermath. Lizzie is safe again, but everything else is broken. Erin tries to fix things.

Erin sat by Lizzie’s bed as she slept. She felt a lump form in her throat at the yellow and purple blotches covering the other woman’s body. Damn him to hell. She thought, thinking of the man who hurt her friend. Of course, there was no point in damning a dead man, he was probably in hell right now, paying for his crimes. Yet somehow that thought never settled the uneasiness in the pit of her stomach. She was worried about Lizzie and worried about Raymond. He felt responsible for what happened to Lizzie and could not even enter her room. Erin had begged him to just sit with Lizzie and talk to her, but he would just grimace and turn away, claiming he had business to attend to. But Raymond should have known better than that. Erin knew everything there was to know about the man and she could certainly tell when he was lying.

Lizzie screamed suddenly, yanking Erin out of her reverie. She sprang up and reached for Lizzie, trying to calm her down. “Shhh, it’s all right, Lizzie. You’re safe.” Lizzie fought against Erin for a while until her eyes finally focused on Erin’s face. “Erin?” she asked, her voice hoarse from lack of use. “Yes, Lizzie. You’re safe, you don’t have to be scared.” Erin felt bad at treating Lizzie like a child, but some instinct told her that that was exactly what she needed at the moment. Lizzie relaxed and laid back down in bed, breathing heavily. “Did I scream?” Lizzie asked. “Yes.” “I’m sorry. I should be stronger. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. This never should have happened,” she finished with a sob, hiding her face in her hands. “I should have listened to him,” her words were muffled by her hands. She turned her watery gaze on Erin. “He nearly died because of me,” she whispered. “But he didn’t,” Erin replied.

“You saved him.”

*****

Erin gasped as Red entered the living room. “What the hell happened?” she asked, moving towards him and trying to find the source of the blood that covered his shirt. “It’s not mine.” Red replied, following her gaze. Erin sighed heavily, “Care to explain?” “There’s nothing to explain.” Erin folded her arms over her chest and turned a steely gaze on Dembe who stood behind Red. “Dembe?” Dembe’s eyes shot between the other two as he tried to ascertain the best course of action. After a long pause, Red gave the slightest of nods. “We found a lead, but he did not want to co-operate. Raymond persuaded him to tell us what he knew.” Erin’s eyes grew wide as Dembe spoke, “I thought we were done with this, Raymond. Why are you pursuing this?” Red made to walk past her as he dismissed the question with a shrug of his shoulders, but Erin grabbed his arm, turning him back to her. “This will not solve anything, Raymond. Blood will not stop her suffering, but your presence will.” Red stared at her for a while, nodded once, kissed her forehead and then made his way upstairs without another word. Erin looked at Dembe, “What are we going to do?” she asked him. “I don’t know. But he is over the edge.”

“We need to bring him back, Dembe.”

“Agreed.”

*****

Lizzie stared at her reflection in the mirror. The bruises had nearly faded completely and she felt a little stronger for that, as if the evidence of the attack disappearing also made her fear dissipate. She was still living with Red, Erin and Dembe, but still kept to her room. Erin brought her food every day and spent a lot of time with her. She only left her room one time, when she heard raised voices downstairs. She heard the argument between Red and Erin, saw the blood on his shirt. Most of all, she heard what Erin had said. Blood will not stop her suffering, but your presence will. Will it? She felt stronger, but she was still broken inside. The trauma she lived through had left deeper scars in her psyche than any of the physical ones. The one thing she hated most of all was that she was afraid to face Red, that somehow she had disappointed him. They were on such good terms before all of this.

She missed her apartment at the Audrey. She missed watching Red and Dembe cook in the kitchen. Most of all, she missed the normality of it all. She felt whole and happy there. Now, everything was broken and she had no idea how to fix it. For how can the broken attempt to fix that which is broken? All in all, Lizzie felt like she was seventeen again, trying to find herself. She hated herself for not reaching out to Red. She knew she owed him an explanation and an apology, but she could not bring herself to face him. She knew if she did face him now, she would just break down and sob, and she did not want to show how vulnerable she really was. So for the time being things just had to stay the way they were.

Erin walked into her room then, carrying a breakfast tray. “Morning,” she said, smiling at Lizzie. “Morning. Thanks.” Lizzie said as she took the tray from Erin. They both sat on the bed as Lizzie ate. “How are you feeling today?” Lizzie gave Erin a small smile, “A lot better, thanks. I’m starting to feel a little more like myself again.” Erin grinned at Lizzie, “I am so happy to hear that! I thought that the four of us might have dinner together tonight?” Erin asked. Lizzie stared at her for a long time, a war raging within her. “I’m sorry, Erin. I don’t think I’m ready yet.” Erin smiled sadly at Lizzie, “I understand.”

A frown appeared between Erin’s eyes and Lizzie felt concern for the other woman. “Is everything alright?” Lizzie leaned forward and placed her hand on Erin’s shoulder. Erin looked up at Lizzie and tears shone in her eyes. “Lizzie, I am so sorry for the pain and suffering you endured.” Lizzie shook her head, “You don’t have to…” Erin raised her hand and Lizzie stopped talking. “You should know that Tom was completely insane when he took you. He had some sort of meltdown, and that is why Raymond was so worried about you. He was with me when he received word from a colleague about Tom’s return.” Lizzie looked even more confused, “I thought you only saw him once a year?” “I normally do, but this time, he needed to discuss a few different plans to keep you safe, one of them involved me.” “An escape plan?” “Yes,” Erin said, “Raymond had arranged for you and me to travel to a safe house of his, and I was to keep you safe while he took care of Tom. He never wanted you to be in the centre of it.” “Wait, you needed to keep me safe? You’re a dancer.” Liz said, incredulous. Erin gave her a knowing smile, “Lizzie, haven’t you learned by now that appearances can be deceiving?” Lizzie stared at the other woman, but finally decided to let it go. She would find out sooner or later what Erin’s history is, but right now, she wanted to know what Erin knew of Tom and Red.

“Tom was mentally unstable and had made it his mission to “save” you from Raymond and what he turned you into. He wanted you back in his life and wanted to eliminate Raymond at the same time, evidently also completing a job for his employer. He wanted to control you, Lizzie.”

Lizzie sat there, shaking a little, mulling the information over in her head. After a while she said, “I had to lie to Tom about Red. He… he forced me to admit that I had been intimate with Red.” Erin looked sympathetically at Lizzie, “We both know that Raymond will not begrudge you for that. You were trying to survive.” “I know that, but, the thing is, lying about us, about how we shared so much more than just a mere physical attraction, that hurt more than the kicks and the punches he threw at me. And I just don’t know how to come back from that, because after a while in that room, it felt like there was no hope, no way of escape, of being myself again. In a way, even though I killed Tom with my own hands, he still haunts me.” Erin drew Lizzie into a heartfelt hug, rubbing her back soothingly. “The only way to heal is to open up, just like you did now to me. Only, he is the one that desperately needs to know how you feel. He has not forgiven himself for what happened, Lizzie, but if he knows that you have forgiven him…” Lizzie sighed, “That’s the thing, I don’t blame him. I blame myself for not trusting him more. Do you know what I see when I close my eyes? I see Red on his knees with a gun pressed to his head, and I know he is in danger because of me. No Erin, I am the one that needs his forgiveness.”  Lizzie shook her head.

“I just don’t know how to face him.”

*****

Another month passed without a reconciliation between Red and Lizzie and Erin’s frustration grew in leaps and bounds. She had no idea how to make these two stubborn people she loved see how much they needed each other. They both tried to deal with their pain alone and in unhealthy ways and it broke her heart. Lizzie would be shut in her room all day, with almost nothing to do, and Erin knew that she was playing the scenario of what happened over and over in her head. She was definitely in a state of depression and that room was not helping matters. Red, on the other hand, became quite ruthless in his pursuit and in the process left a trail of blood behind him, and a stack of bloodstained shirts that Erin had to try and clean. She would fight with him and plead with him, but nothing went through the wall he had built around him. It hurt her to see how her efforts rendered no results, but she also understood. Only one woman had the power to release him.

Red and Dembe crashed into the room, banging the door against the wall. Red was leaning heavily on Dembe. “Raymond!” Erin shouted, rushing towards him. “I’m alright,” he said. Erin looked at Dembe questioningly, not trusting Red’s judgment. “He’s got a chest wound, but it’s not serious. His shoulder is dislodged though.” Red shrugged, but it turned into a grimace as pain shot through him, “The priest is dead, that is all that matters.” Erin stared incredulously at Red for a moment, “You matter more,” she said. They helped Red up to his bedroom.

Lizzie heard the commotion and stood at her door, listening. She heard the others entering Red’s room across from hers. She opened the door a little to hear what was going on, but still couldn’t leave the safety of her room.

Red sat down on a chair in his bathroom and Dembe started working on his arm. He screamed as Dembe pulled the shoulder back into place.

Lizzie’s heart stopped when she heard the scream and her legs started moving as she nearly ran into his room, coming to a halt at the bathroom’s entrance. She gasped when she saw him. Red was sitting, shirtless on a chair in the middle of the spacious bathroom. His bloodied shirt lay discarded in a corner and a first aid kit sat on the counter. Dembe was doing something with Red’s left arm while Erin tended a large gash on Red’s chest. They were too focused on their task to notice her and she felt grateful for that. She finally looked into the mirror and met Red’s intense stare. His face was so pale and Lizzie felt concern and worry wash over her. Their eyes locked and for the first time in what felt like forever, she felt a deep and powerful connection with him.

“All done,” Erin said, stepping back and inspecting her handiwork. She looked up and saw Lizzie staring at Red. She walked towards her and laid a hand on her shoulder, “Go to him,” she whispered before leaving the room. Dembe followed suit, leaving the two of them alone in the bathroom. Red sat immobile and just kept staring at her. After a moment, she finally forced her legs to move again. As she approached, she became more aware of his state of undress. She had never seen him without his layers of clothing and this felt very intimate to her somehow. She looked down at his back and gasped.

Scar tissue covered the most of his back and a little over his right shoulder. She reached out and gently, gingerly laid her hand across his skin. She looked up at his reflection again to determine his reaction, but he just stared at her. She continued her exploration of his back when he made no protest. “Does it hurt?” she whispered. “No,” came his hoarse reply. She met his eyes again, tears brimming her own. “It was you, on the floor, wasn’t it? You were the one left to die in my house.”

Red nodded slowly, swallowing audibly as the sadness played over his face. Lizzie held his gaze as her brain worked through everything she knew about the fire. She thought her father was the one who was left to die in the fire, but in reality, it was Red. She also thought that her father was the one to pull her from the flames, saving her. But if the first memory was wrong, could it be…

Lizzie gasped, eyes growing a little wider. “Did you save me from the fire?” she whispered. Her whole world had shrunk to his face, his eyes, his mouth. His eyes grew knowing and sad at the same moment. “Yes,” he said, his gravelly voice barely audible. The tears finally escaped from their prison and made their way slowly down her cheeks. Red stood shakily from the chair and Lizzie moved in beside him, pulling his arm over her shoulders and allowing him to lean on her. She helped him to his bed and pulled the covers over him, feeling his brow. His skin was cold to the touch and he was shivering slightly. She pulled the covers a little higher over his bare chest and sat down beside him. “You have always been there, haven’t you?” she asked. “Yes.” “You were the friend that showed up at Sam’s door.” It was more a statement than a question, but he nodded in confirmation. “Lizzie, I took something from you that night, something I never meant to take, but I was forced to.” Lizzie stared at him, seeing the man behind the facade. “There is a reason why I can tell you without a doubt that your biological father died in that fire,” he sighed and grief and regret flashed over his features, “It is because I killed him.”

Lizzie’s eyes widened in shock. Red had an expression on his face akin to despair and his eyes were watery. “Can I explain?” he asked softly, laying his hand over hers. Her head told her to run away from the monster, but her heart said to give him at least a chance to explain. She nodded as more tears ran down her face. “The people I worked for were after an object that was in your father’s possession.” “The Fulcrum,” Lizzie said, Red nodded. “They told me that the object contained information vital to national security and that your father had stolen the information to sell to the highest bidder. In short, they said that he had gone rogue. They sent a group of us to your house to apprehend your father and secure the Fulcrum, but he had hidden it. I tried to take him into custody, but he kept telling me that I didn’t understand what was happening. He said that I had it all wrong, that the people I worked with were corrupt and evil. We got into a fight and in the commotion my gun went off, killing your father. I don’t expect you to forgive me for what I did, Lizzie. But I want you to know that there isn’t a day that goes by that I do not deeply regret what happened that night. I should have listened to him, heeded his warning, but I was too naïve back then. Believing too solidly the morality of those in service to our country. I am penitent to the very core of my being and I beg your forgiveness, Lizzie. Even if you are unwilling to give it.” A tear ran slowly down his cheek and Lizzie followed its path until it touched the corner of his mouth.

Lizzie stared at his mouth for a long time, her mind fighting to comprehend everything Red had confessed. Somehow, she didn’t feel angry or betrayed, which surprised her a lot. She remembered how livid she was after finding out that Red had killed Sam. She remembered how the anger and heartache pulsed through her. Now, all she felt was emptiness. Maybe it was due to the fact that she had no memory of her biological father. Maybe it was because she was in shock. Either way, she still felt drawn to Red. His hand was still resting on hers and she flipped hers over, her thumb caressing his skin. “I will never understand the reason behind everything that you do, Red. But I know that most of the time you do them for a reason. I think what happened with my father was a mistake, one that you are still paying for. One that you make sure you pay for every day, by being in my life. I will probably never be okay with the fact that you killed two people that I care about, but I can forgive you, set you free.” He stared at her and his hand tightened around hers as she finished. He waited for her to say it, to say the inevitable. To tell him that she never wanted to see him again.

It came as a surprise therefore when she leaned down and placed a soft kiss on his cheek. He went rigid as her lips met his skin and he was afraid to move. She sat back up and their eyes met again. “When I saw the gun pressed to your head, I felt a cold terror fill my heart. It felt like my whole world was about to end. Red, I never meant for you to be in danger. I need you in my life, Red. Despite everything that I know about you, despite how dangerous and unpredictable you are. Despite every sane reason that begs me to run away from you…” Lizzie cleared her throat and she stared down at their hands, feeling a little overwhelmed. Red reached up and cupped her face with his hand, feeling how she leaned into it. “I’m not going anywhere.” She looked up at him and searched for confirmation in his eyes. “The Fulcrum might have brought us together, but it is not the only reason why I chose you, Lizzie. Yes, I need it to survive, but when I look at you, I see a new beginning, possibility, happiness.” She placed her hand over his, closing her eyes as she tried to memorise the feel of his hand pressed against her skin. “Do you love me?” Lizzie asked, her voice so impossibly small. The vulnerability of it nearly broke Red’s heart. He smiled adoringly up at her, the person that had been the centre of his universe for such a long time. “I do,” he said, nodding to emphasize his answer. Lizzie exhaled loudly and smiled shyly at Red, relief washing over her. She had believed for such an incredibly long time that Red was only using her, but there was no doubt in her mind that he was telling the truth now. She leaned down and timidly brushed her lips over his. He sighed as their lips touched and she exalted in his reaction. He lay motionless, showing that she was completely in control and that thrilled her even more. She kissed him again, soft and sweet. She trailed kisses over his face, making her way to his ear. She kissed his neck and smiled against his skin as she felt him shiver. She kissed his ear once more before whispering, “I love you too.”


End file.
